Hello and welcome to this little bloglet. It is where I will write sensible and well-crafted stories that will only take a few minutes for you to read—

PFFFFFFFTTTTT!!!

‘What? It’s rude to interrupt.’

‘You said “sensible”. Wrong. Hello, readers, I’m Penelope Penne, his muse. He writes nonsense. As you will no doubt soon discover. Oh, and Andy? “Bloglet” is not a word.’

‘It is now.’

‘What does it mean?’

‘A blog, like other blogs. But this one “lets” me free my mind of whatever is on it. See?’

Penelope is my fiercest critic.

’No. I don’t see. What I see is you writing total nonsense and expecting people to read it.’

‘I’m not making them—‘

‘Quite. But I’ve had a word with B.L.O.G and they will ban you if you continue this tirade of nonsense.’

‘B.L.O.G? Who are they?’

‘The Bureau of Literary Oversight and Governance.’

‘Oh. I like: “tirade of nonsense”. I’m going to make that the title.’

‘Please don’t.’

‘Yep, it’s great!’

She scooted off on her speeder. She rides a speeder that looks like it escaped from War in the Stars.

Right, I think I need a brew. A mug of coffee. In a handled ceramic beverage chamber. for the purposes of consuming a hot beverage.

Oh, you may think I used the word “brew” in a throwaway sense. I did not. I have exclusive membership of B.R.E.W. Do you know what it stands for (they sit down sometimes)?

The Brotherhood of Refreshment Enthusiasts Worldwide.

Membership is exclusive. Applications are ignored.

We meet Thursdays. Unless it’s Tuesday.

Thank you and good day if it’s day, good night if it’s night and see you later if you’re not sure.